Monday, April 13, 2009

Writer's Block.

I don't know if what I've had recently could technically be termed writer's block, but blocked I certainly am. Blocked not only by how many hours a day Kiddlywink demands my body sleeps. And when I say demands, I mean it literally. Come nap time, which is never the same time on any given day or even only once a day, I will go cross-eyed trying to stay awake. Sometimes during toilet trips of a night I fall asleep either on the loo, sitting on the side of the bed, or as soon as I've gotten horizontal again but before pulling sheets up. I've even been known to do all three in the one trip. When it's sleepytime, there's NO denying it.

When I am awake? I'm also blocked because who knows what shape my brain'll be in! This makes it very difficult to plan/do/complete normal every day stuff, let alone any writing. Radha and Sahil gave up. They're not taking my calls at the moment. Fair enough too. I was overly ambitious even attempting to tell my brain what to produce. So for the last few months I've contented myself with getting done what I AM capable of doing on any given day.

I've kept up as well as I can with the critiques for my writing group. I've read as much as I can in the Romance section, both e-Pubs and paper books. I've even used a 6 month Netflix giftcard we were given to order from genres I would normally steer clear of. Namely old films and not just the romantic ones.

Funnily enough, as I've relaxed and taken any pressure off myself whatsoever to produce, I've started dreaming VERY vividly. The kind of dreams where I can go to the bathroom, come back to bed and pick up where I left off. Lucid dreams I think they're called, especially when I can take that dream and go on a new tangent. It's been fun, mostly. Sometimes I feel unrested when I'm done for the night because the dreams can often feel like I'm laying there awake and merely thinking things through for hours on end. It's like I go from awake to dreaming but with no awareness of the transition in between. Apparently Alaskaboy's had some amusing and weird conversations with me because of this.

He especially finds it amusing when I call out that I'm awake, in a chirpy definitely awake voice, and by the time he comes in to snuggle 20 seconds later, I'm sound asleep again.

A fairly common short morning conversation will go like this.
ME: blh blah blah blah
Him: Blah blah blah. blah blah blah?
ME: . . . .
Him: Wake up!
Me: I AM awake, I was just thinking.
HIM: No, you were snoring.
(repeat the above sequence three times in the space of ten minutes)

I can literally hear what he's saying and believe I'm thinking of the reply, but apparently I'm asleep while doing it. LOL

One of these dreams has demanded that it become a story, or at least the first couple of chapters from the Heroine's point of view. During the dream it was me and my family that the events happened to, but as of course, during dreams it wasn't actually our home or backyard etc, not even a close approximation thereof, but in the dream it was home. And I forgot some of the details and have changed some to suit this new story better, but I'm writing again because of it.

Well, a month ago I was. I wrote chapter 1a and Chapter 2a out and then got stuck again. Chapter 2 is set in a courtroom, and wasn't part of the dream either as it's from the Hero's perspective so it's all Muse inspired. Two weeks ago I eventually realised what the problem was, I don't know if the spark of an idea I had for it is valid. So I wrote an email to a good acquaintance asking if she'd be able to give me some advice. Best thing is, Mindy does write in the chicklit/romance genre and has experience with law. Bestest thing is she said she'd give it a try.

The last two weeks have been really hectic here. So busy that some of my naps have taken place in the car on the way to other places, or if I'm driving in the parking lots once I'm there. LOL So, it wasn't until this evening I managed to get back to her. Hopefully my idea isn't too spazzy or can at least be worked through/around somehow and I can write some more on this new story. If not, bummer. Will have to come up with a new second chapter.

If my muse isn't willing even if I do get the go ahead for the idea? Well, at least I'm building up ideas and stuff to work on once I'm back in good writing form again.